Snowed under in so many ways

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not complaining. Well, perhaps I am, actually, but as always, I realize that it could be far worse.

It's just that seeing 18 inches of snow on the ground here this week reminds me that I am feeling a little snowed under myself of late. It's kind of hard for me to understand -- I'd thought that once I'd been laid off, I was going to have far more time on my hands than I'd had since I was a kid in school.

I suppose part of it is the loss of a routine that normally helps keep one organized. That may or may not change in the coming weeks as I continue my search for a new job. And of course that search takes time, as well -- a lot more time than someone who's never been unemployed before would think.

In the meantime, I am enamored of a part-time job as a digital journalist. Still, the hours vary from day to day and it is far too easy to become distracted by the absence of routine.

Grieving, then moving on

At some point toward the end of the day, the numbness eased as a deep, deep heartache set in. Journalism had been a close friend for such a long time. What would I do now that I'd been laid off? And the crew of people I had worked with over the years had been fantastic. This was like losing a family.

And arriving home early that evening faced its own challenges.

Frequently over the past several months, my 7-year-old daughter had asked me why I had to go to work each day. And each time, I explained Daddy worked to make enough money to pay for the house and help provide groceries and pay many of the other costs borne by a husband and wife with five children.

So after the drive home, as I came in the door and went to hang up my coat, both my daughters greeted me with hugs and the question, "Daddy, what are you doing home so early?"