Beware the IDES of December (or any other month)

Decades ago, I learned a sense of humor can go a long way toward pushing back the blackest of moods.

Consequently, I decided at some point to make humor, along with my faith, a part of my daily routine.

The inspiration for this particular part of my routine came from the 1980 movie, "Airplane," with Leslie Nielsen and starring Robert Hays. In one scene, a fight breaks out in a bar and, in the midst of the action, the camera zooms in as a hand wielding an electric shaver rises above the action. Someone shouts out in alarm, "Look out! He's got a razor."

That's the scene that I recall each day as I begin my morning by shaving. As I look into the mirror and raise the electric shaver toward my face, I pause and, looking at my reflection, mouth those words, "Look out! He's got a razor."

Seriously. Each day. And each time I raise the alarm to myself, I smile at my own goofiness.

Grieving, then moving on

At some point toward the end of the day, the numbness eased as a deep, deep heartache set in. Journalism had been a close friend for such a long time. What would I do now that I'd been laid off? And the crew of people I had worked with over the years had been fantastic. This was like losing a family.

And arriving home early that evening faced its own challenges.

Frequently over the past several months, my 7-year-old daughter had asked me why I had to go to work each day. And each time, I explained Daddy worked to make enough money to pay for the house and help provide groceries and pay many of the other costs borne by a husband and wife with five children.

So after the drive home, as I came in the door and went to hang up my coat, both my daughters greeted me with hugs and the question, "Daddy, what are you doing home so early?"

First stunned, then pain and grief

When I walked into the Aurora office of Sun-Times Media-West about 4 p.m. on Dec. 2, I was smiling and ready for a good night's work. But as I approached my desk, my supervisor called to me, "Ted, we've got a meeting."

At first, as she walked away, she appeared to be moving toward an office along the building's south wall, where she had sometimes met to talk with members of the Web staff. But when she veered toward her left, my stomach lurched. Now she was leading me in the general direction of the Human Resources office, and in light of all the layoffs this company has made since October, I knew this could be bad.

I prayed for God's protection and strength, and I prayed He would give me grace, even as I felt myself going numb. "Judy," I whispered, "am I being laid off?"

Her answer, along the lines of "We've got a meeting," clearly answered the question.